Yesterday, we commemorated World Suicide Prevention Day. Suicide is a topic of conversation that is sometimes still avoided by many people, but we have to advocate it this month.
Data from WHO reveals that at least 24 people out of 100,000 population in Indonesia have committed suicide. Most recent data shows that every year around 50,000 people committed suicide in Indonesia.
Mental health used to be something that Indonesians are reluctant to talk about, but more and more people are starting to speak up in order to help the victims. We cannot blame those who have attempted suicide or had suicidal thoughts. They need help so that their lives don’t end in tragedy.
Don’t lose your loved ones or yourself due because we can see the patterns of people who are probably going through this and we can take some precautions. Many people who look happy, could actually have serious mental health problems that cause them to end their own lives. So happiness is not a sign if someone is fine.
The factors
Suicide doesn’t differentiate people. People with any kind of background and status could do this. There are several factors to be considered that could trigger suicidal thoughts: Usually, they have mental illnesses such as depression, bipolar, anxiety, and other disorders. They also could probably face substance abused problems or very sick.
Sometimes people also experience suicidal thoughts when they are under severe stress or facing traumatic situations even though they were previously happy. Seeing other people commit suicide, a family history of suicidal behavior, or having previous suicide attempt could also motivate the person.
Signs that are easier to be noticed
There is no pattern of habits that guarantees someone will commit suicide, though. You may see a trait or two. Here is a list of features that are usually easy to look at:
- They often said that they want to die.
- They often talk that they have no reason to live anymore and feels that people are happier without them.
- They feel empty and hopeless.
- They are feeling guilty or ashamed.
- They are withdrawing from social life.
- Start distributing personal items and solving unfinished problems while saying goodbye.
Signs that are more difficult to see
Furthermore, there are some signs of suicidal thoughts that are harder to spot. Sometimes, the people who are closest to them can’t even see it themselves. These are the signs you may want to watch out for:
- Changes in sleep patterns: Sleep patterns could change because of depression or suicidal thoughts. Usually, they sleep much longer or experience severe insomnia and they will find it difficult to move due to soreness. Even if it turns out that they don’t want to kill themselves, you have to be on your guard!
- Changes in habits: This usually happens but is sometimes not visible. For example, someone who is gentle could suddenly become aggressive. Or someone who is generally stressed out suddenly becomes calm and peaceful. It could also be that people who like to socialize suddenly become loners. It would help if you again watched for changes in their mood and their drugs or alcohol consumption.
- Emotionally distant: This can be observed by those who closest to them. If you feel that they are starting to distance themselves emotionally from life, activities that they typically enjoy, or from those they are close to, then you should be alert.
- Intense physical pain: Physical illness and discomfort are rarely seen as features of depression, but they are essential. If someone with the above characteristics begins to show physical ailments such as headaches and digestion problems, then this could be a sign of severe depression, which can lead to suicide, especially if they have never had the disease before or are not currently experiencing an injury.
- Obsession of dangerous objects: Sometimes they can hide it, but you can observe it. If they start buying things that can be used to kill themselves, such as pills, knives, strong ropes, pistols, and so on, it could be that they are planning to commit suicide.
Who generally experiences this?
The highest suicide rates occur in adolescents, young adults (18-35 years), and parents over 60 years. Usually, parents who want to commit suicide are those who have recently lost their husband or wife as a result of divorce or death or people who have had severe illnesses.
Suicidal intent can also be experienced by someone who has a history of suicide in their family members, or they have just lost their loved ones due to suicide. Therefore, counseling for the family that is left behind is crucial to prevent suicide that can occur in the future.
For teenagers and children, the problems usually revolve around family and friendship. However, the ‘challenge’ is that sometimes they don’t want to talk. Generally, suicidal feelings arise when they encounter the following problems:
- They have mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety.
- They are conflicting or just lost friends and family members.
- They are experiencing abuse or bullying.
- They have substance abused problems.
- They have medical problems such as illness or pregnancy.
- They are confused about their sexual orientation.
- They lost friends or family who died as a result of suicide.
What should I do if I recognize these characteristics?
People who are alone and isolated are more likely to commit suicide than those who receive support from family and friends. If you recognize the characteristics mentioned above, the first step to help is to talk to them with compassion and understanding, then persuade them to seek professional help. Don’t give any toxic positivity or religion based statements.
If the situation is not precarious yet, talking and asking the doctor will be very helpful. Meanwhile, if they are doing suicide attempts, try calling a doctor or general practitioner, or you could also contact the police’s emergency department, but don’t leave them at all!
Don’t yell at them or get hysterical. Secure all of the dangerous items around them while you calm them down.
How to talk to them?
Speaking to them is quite tricky. You can express your worries without judgment and without confronting them. You also have to dare to ask direct questions about whether they are thinking about killing themselves.
Make sure you are calm and speak in a convincing and soothing tone. Make them understand that their feelings are important, valid and that they are not mental. Show them with support and encouragement. Also, let them know that they can be cured through the help of a psychologist or therapist.
Don’t ever try to downplay their feelings or compare them to other people. Don’t embarrass them by saying they are lacking of faith, they are weak, etc. Just listen to them and show positive support!
Help them to contact a psychologist or therapist. Take them to the first meeting, if necessary. Talking about their condition is very important, and you have to help them as much as possible. Don’t think time will help fix everything.
How can you scale down the suicidal thoughts?
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts yourself, don’t be shy or continue to face this problem alone. You have to take action to save yourself! Try talking to other people about it, such as your non-judgmental friends and seek for professional help.
If a psychiatrist is giving you medication, do not change the dose or stop taking the drug without their permission. You could have a withdrawal phase that makes things worse. If there are side effects, talk to your psychiatrist so they can change the medication.
Don’t skip therapy sessions! The more disciplined and open you are, the faster you will heal. Try to find out from your therapist what triggers your suicidal thoughts. This needs to be done so that you are vigilant when facing the same problem. Also, tell this people closest to you so they can help you out.
Suicide prevention lifeline in Indonesia
After five years of inactivity, at the end of 2019, the Ministry of Health restart the suicide prevention hotline at 021-500-454. If the situation is urgent and it is already dangerous, you can also call 119 or 110 for emergency first aid services and the police – although you they cannot help with psychological counseling.
Besides that, you can also contact the NGO Jangan Bunuh Diri at 021-9696-9293 as an institution that cares about mental health. Twitter Indonesia, in collaboration with Into The Light Community, also launched a notification service to prevent suicide and self-harm. You can stop by their Twitter account @intothelightID or their website.
Into The Light also provides directions to seek help from psychologists at Puskesmas and Hospitals on its website. Not only that, yes, you can also look for peer counseling services and online support groups on this page.
The following are the contacts of several Mental Hospitals in Indonesia for mental health counseling:
RSJ Amino Gondohutomo Semarang 024 – 6722565
RSJ Marzoeki Mahdi Bogor 0251 – 8324024, 8324025, 8320467
RSJ Soeharto Heerdjan Jakarta 021 – 5682841
RSJ Prof. Dr. Soerojo Magelang 0293 – 363601
RSJ Radjiman Wediodiningrat Malang 0341 – 423444
To remember suicide prevention day, let’s recognize these characteristics from the people around us and ourselves. Remember, mental health is vital, and we have to help each other.
Do you have any experience with suicide?
This article is originally made for Rukita.co in Indonesian.
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